Logic
by annuscka
Summary: Luka muses a little in the arms of somebody he feels surprisingly comfortable with." Just a short thing...


**Author's comment: **This is a short and not a very necessary piece. Still I wrote it…  
Well, anyhow. This is more or less 'shipfree – could be lully, S7 luby or whatever. But if you choose to go with lukam; please don't tell me ;)**  
  
LOGIC**  
  
He closed his eyes as he lay down his head in her lap. She was sitting up in the bed, her legs crossed like an Indian's for him to lean his tired body on. Her hands slowly left his hair where they had been resting for what felt like the sweetest eternity of her life, and started to travel down his neck, lingering on the crucifix on the golden chain for a few moments before landing on his chest. They were both silent as she wrapped her arms tighter around his body and leaned over him, kissing his forehead gently. He smiled tiredly and put his hand on top of hers, caressing it while leaning back and feeling the sleep come closer as a wave of her hair fell over the side of his face. Slowly the dark room began to blur in front of his eyes, and he sighed deeply, for the first time in months, years – maybe even decades – feeling calm. Maybe even happy.  
  
Happiness. A word he hadn't dared to consider, even less utter, in what felt like ages. Now it felt so close, dangerously close. He could almost feel the scent of it; almost touch it if he reached out with his hand.  
It scared the hell out of him, always had. It felt surreal, as if he was watching himself trying to live this life instead of being in the middle of it.  
Was he capable of being happy? It didn't seem likely. Even more importantly – was he capable of making her happy? It didn't seem too likely either.  
But she sure was capable of finding the key to that locked chamber deep inside him, the key he had thought he had buried with Danijela. She touched him deeper inside than he could ever reach her; she was stronger than he could ever be.  
The well-known angst came back, once again as glued on his mind. He wasn't good enough for her, not good enough for anybody. She'd be far better off without him. Every possible logical thought told him so, but still he was unable to let go. It felt too good to let go just yet. But he knew he had to. It was only logical, practical. Not to get too attached, never too involved.  
  
As if she could sense his depressing thoughts – or maybe it was just his muscles tensing under her hands that caught her attention – of whatever reason, she let one finger caress his right temple.  
"What are you thinking about?" she whispered, her voice reassuring, soothing, making the angst caused by the ache for logic in his heart and the lack thereof in it, fade back into its black hole. But it would come back, eventually. It always did. It was only logical.  
  
But right now it was disappearing, fading under her magic hands. The wonderful calmness taking over again, and the waves of sleep coming closer, almost reaching the imagined shore they were resting on. It was wrong in every sense of logic, but it was too tempting not to give in, if only for a while.  
  
Suddenly the question she patiently had kept from repeating finally hit his ears. And without trying to remember if she had said anything after letting those five words leave her lips or considering that him replying now might be pretty out of context, he still did.  
"I can't reach you as deep as you reach me," he simply said, still with his eyes closed and his head comfortably rested in her lap, taking a mental note to remember just how wonderfully pleasant this had been if he never got to experience it again.  
She smiled and couldn't help but to let out a tired sigh.  
"You're kidding, right?" she asked with a chuckle that wasn't stronger than a whisper, without saying the words still playfully reminding him of his moves the moments before. He smiled, once again an honest smile. It almost started to feel normal to smile at her this way, as if he had always done it and always been intended for it. It was easier to smile at her. Because she didn't know.  
"You know what I mean," he chuckled after a while. He was still not looking at her as he spoke, but he knew she was still leaning over him – her warm breath felt close and wonderfully present on his skin.  
  
She watched him quietly for a while, never interrupting her caressing of his chest.  
"You do," she then said simply, smiling at him, hoping it would be enough to scare away his demons for a little while. Why he did it she didn't now exactly, and part of her told herself that she didn't want to know either – but he tortured himself to a point where there was no way out of it. Even without knowing him well, she felt like she could read all his soul through those deep eyes, as if she could sense his thoughts, maybe better than he could himself.  
"You do," she repeated, letting one hand get lost in his hair as she kissed his forehead.  
  
Darkness still filled the room, making it seem as if the bed were an isolated island in the middle of a black and dangerous nowhere. This was a thought that usually would have troubled him, but right now it didn't matter.  
Maybe it, in some twisted way along with so much else - was logic. 


End file.
